Dear God, What’s Happening To All Of This ->

 

Too many rocks

Too many rocks

Too many rocks

Throw them all away

Can’t stay outside all day

Can’t come out and play

Gotta go back in

Finish this mess

Clean up after your toys

What’s next

You self destruct

How much more

Time is ticking

I feel myself dying

Since you took your love away

You left me hear alone

Unprepared

Trying to fend for myself

Every second, every hour

I scream for help

The world ignores me

They can’t hear me

Only lover hears me

Only lover knows me

Only lover can make me

Only lover can be there for me

Come to me once again

Feed me my poison

What I long for

What I crave

Up all night

Wanting you badly

My everything cannot function

Without your love

There is no hope

JL

Just Let Me Throw Up What’s In My Head ->

 

God after I heard that word

Repulsed so repulsed

Make it stop

Make it stop

Make it stop

Can’t stop

Can’t let go

Have to let go

Didn’t even see it coming

Never there is an option

Always so few

Whatever one I choose

The path is so, so long

Wherever is my love?

Are you hiding from me?

Come out and play dear love, come out and play 

JL

Let Me Be Who I Want To Be ->

 

 Kissssssssssssssssss

Don’t hold me back

Like you always do

Why can’t I?

Don’t understand

Pick me up

Then you feed me your food

And once I start to grow

You disown me

Tug of war

He pulls my hair

All day and all night

Pulling my long dark hair

At the end of the day

My head starts to hurt

From all the tugging

Keeps me running

But it also keeps me loving you

Wanting you

Wanting more

Why did you have to do it?

Don’t understand it

Why I allowed myself to go through with it

And how I let it get this far

Turned me into a woman

Then I go back to being the little girl

Scared, afraid, alone

No play all day

Lock me up in your room

And when you came home

I didn’t know who you were

So angry at me

Why me?

Don’t you realize?

How much I bleed?

You couldn’t see the tears

You couldn’t feel my hurt

You couldn’t sense a things

Lost in confusion

What a terrible time to be living in

With all I watched you go through

And being there beside you

Helping you, seeing you do it all

Made no sense why I stayed

Waking up everyday in the early mornings

With the traffic on the hamptons roads

I sat there like your little lap dog

How it felt was how it was

Never told you everything that I was up to

Because it didn’t seem right

How you wanted me out of your territory

When it ended

Fed my brain with lies, lies, lies

I was completely bored

What the hell went on?

I only wanted you to be a man to me and treat me like a real man should

JL

Hell With You…

 

So this is how it ends?

Let’s not play pretend any longer…let it linger

What’s wrong with this?

What’s wrong with that?

All your lies, lies, lies, lies

STOP IT!

DON’T SAY A WORD!

Remember every single thing you put me through

Babble fish, what a mess you left

Take me there

Take me where?

Sometimes I just don’t understand you

Everything you put me through

Feed me this, feed me that

What an aweful potient you created

Made me into a monster my lover

Made me into a fighter

When all I ever was, I was a lover

Break me into this twisted world you live in

Screaming voices all the time

Drives me crazy

Makes me sick

I don’t want to be nice any longer

I just want you to let me go

How I tried to break away everyday

And you watched me all along

Like it amused you

Little fool

Took my keys

Tried to drive far, far, far away

That rainy day

It was such a lonely day

I almost killed myself on that drive

When you didn’t pick up the phone

You didn’t answer the door

When I need you most

Never were you there

How can one forget such pain?

Lonely nights

I tried to make love to you

We both knew

How you scolded me

For those poor, poor nights

And I took it all in stride

But deep down

How damaged I was

The thought of losing you

I did everything I could to hold on

So typical me

So typical you to just sit there and watch it all

Like it pleased you

I didn’t get it then

I get it now

I understand the mentality you had all along

My own finesse held me back

But eventually you won your fight

That’s what you wanted

And so be it

I leave you there to live your life

Die in your sweet misery

Jealous, angry man

Jealous, angry man

JL

Let It All Out ->

 

 Next Best Thing?

I knew the time had come

I was so afraid to lose you

Knew you had to grow

Never did I want to leave you

Against my inner will

Heart would not let go

Had to do it

Used all the power I could to get through it

This painful time

Again and again and again

Couldn’t take the pain anymore

So I had to go

Leaving you

The greatest sorrow I had

Replacing you

Trying to numb the pain of loss

Must be so strong

When I can’t let you go

Had me there

Didn’t want to release me

Not just yet

But I had to come out

Your world suffocated mine

To it’s death

I stare into the air

Whatever it is

See the vision

There I am

Alone

Cold

Naked

Took my clothes away

Took my mind away

Took my everything

And just when I thought I was beginning to bring it all back

The castle was destroyed

Now you left me

I have been homeless for months

All alone

Nothing to do

But think shattered thoughts

How you laugh and mock my mind

But I only speak the truth

Your sounds crash into me

A cry for help

Coward you always were

You envyed what I always had

And how you got there to taste it

You just stole it all away

Confuse me you fool

I no longer love you anymore

So I thought

But the realization came to mind

After you threw me out in the trash

I was left there to die

Rain fell pouring on my body for days, for months

And no one came to pick me up

Instead I was thrown into a bigger pile of bloody mess

And was given a light

I saw your world before my very eyes

So vivid I had to watch it

I had to preview what was to come

And once I saw it

How sickening the film

Your new loves await

Brings me sorrow

But that is what you always wanted

Put back the page go ahead

Only you and I will ever know what happened between us

Sugar rolls turn sour apples

World turned upside down

All I’ve known of you

Was just a face of a man

Nothing more

I will forget it all happened

Like to you did the second the walls started to crumble

Should have known your cold cold heart

Accusing me of being the devil

I never believed your absurdities

And your army of men

Fuck them all

The hell with whatever this was

All you did was give me pain

In the end it was all yours for the taken

So go ahead

You can have it

Take it

Have your way with it like you always do

Angry fool

Afer I gambled all or nothing

My reward was more sweet misery

As if I hadn’t had enough

And the bad love just piled on and on and on

Leave me alone to die

Soon I will live again

Soon I will be reborn

JL

Holds Me And Sings A Lullaby ->

 

Lover calling

Want to ryme

Join my song

Sing along

Play along

Even if you don’t want

Just be here

Don’t be there

Be anywhere but there

 

Why you had to go?

Not time for you to grow

Have to let you know

How I loved you so

 

Live survive

What fun, what hell

BORED BORED BORED

Bored out of my damn mind

What’s left to try

Pick, pick, pick apart my lover

Ha, ha, how he has no clue

What I do

Whatever it is the strangeness I do

Whenever I think of him

He is playing pretend

But I know

I know exactly what he is up to

Dear lover

You don’t have to hide

Come out of your shell

Come out and play

Come to my world

My little hell

Wanna make you all messy

Then spray you with my windex

Clean you all up

Nonsense my dear

Come hither

Want you to play with me

Take me clothes off

All day long

Such a child

Damn what happened to the years

I don’t care

I really don’t

All I care is to have lover by my side

Lover by my side

 

Sing along the song of you

She now loves you

Silly fool

I knew

When I first saw it all

Tell me

How you lie so well?

How many others do you have?

TELL ME TELL ME

Don’t you lie to me like you always do

Because I always knew

Lock myself in my room for days

Cause from all the hurt and the pain

Wanna believe

But I just can’t hear no more

I just can’t see

Why don’t you want only me?

Lover don’t you dare

Don’t you dare share

Why you share our love?

Sexy man

I know they want you

But what about me?

All of a sudden

You have to leave me

Can’t hold on to me like you do

Wanna end this love

Because you love many

Many a lover

So, so, so sad

How you bit

Marked my neck

Don’t want it

But you gave me it

Now I am damaged

Thinking of you

Forever for you lover

I don’t want to join

I’d rather be alone

Wither away and die

Can’t stand it

How you do it

How you really mean it when you do it

But silly you

How can you comprehend

Wanna stop this madness

All day long

Play a song

No I don’t want to hear it

I just wasn’t ready for it

How you introduce me

All wrong, all wrong

Don’t wanna join there song

What happened to our song

Makes me wanna…

JL

Paint me a picture of us together ->

 

All those other girls

Beautiful girls

Your brilliance

Expect nothing more

Everything to you

Perfection indeed

Can’t seem to erase it all

So strong, so powerful

 

Take it down

Take it all down

Looking at the walls

Bare, naked, stripped

 

Mop the floor

Don’t miss a spot

It that what you mother did?

What you saw in me?

Clean your house

Make you breakfast?

Clean your room?

Wanna call me mommy?

 

Hold you

I held you like crazy

Kiss me

All the time, all the time

Your little boy

GROW UP LITTLE BOY

Like what you said to me

Guess we were doomed from the start

Can’t laugh, still cry

Wanna put it all together

Must be sick in the head

Who would want to put this all together?

Can’t let go

Fix my head

Still it spins

 

Spin, spin

Wanna fly?

 Lover cries

Hold me

Love me

Don’t look back

Wasn’t finished

Wanna go there

Take me there

Need you

Need you now more than ever

Want you back

 

See the trees in the forest

Drive away

Can’t live, can’t breathe

How we fall to the ground

Can’t stand it anymore

 

Hold me close

These lonely nights

Alone with you

Lover by my side

See the rain out the window

Office so cold

Make love to me

Take me here and now

Wanna feel you inside me

Take a break

Lonely us

All we do

We do together

 

Hot sex everywhere

Little do they know

Hedge fund men go away

Make room for lover and I

Wanna play all day

Wanna rip your suit off

Have sex all over

What fun, what fun

 

Raw hot blooded man

Makes me wanna

Take me, take me anywhere

Makes me wanna

Your hot sweat all over my naked body

Makes me wanna

Pull my hair, speak to me lover

Makes me wanna

 All day and all night

Makes me wanna

 

Wanna be inside you

Turn off the damn noise

Heard enough of that CNBC shit

Just rip my clothes off and take me

 

Downstairs they can hear us

Think you always liked it

Like I know I liked it

In fact I loved it

Wanna have the power

All the power

The whole damn house was ours

What happened to everyone?

We had the most fun

Slept with me in every room

Never could I go back

What it was

What it could have been

Makes me wanna

 

Hurt me so much

Lover why did you do it

 Disgusted

JL

Chain me to this fence as you laugh, laugh, laugh ->

 

Stomp wanna lump up

Dry stale bitter bored

Whatever it was

Take it out

Move it around

Don’t wanna wait

 

Sedan pick us up

Take us too the airport

Off we go

Wanna fly

Up way so high

I can’t go there with you

Because I don’t know how

Scared me

How you fly so high

Want you to come down

Come back down to my level

Join me in my world

Why don’t you wanna come play?

So scared

You leave me

Looking at you way up there

Flying away

Gonna go as high as you can go

I’m so scared

Why did you leave me

Wanna make you want me

Look I dance for you

Don’t go, don’t go

Flying away like that

Wanna bring you back down

Flys so high it’s so real

Can’t stand to look anymore

Have to turn away

 

Fade into me

No more color

Such a mess

Wanna be there

Can’t be there

You won’t take me there

I know you can take me there

So scared

Why you did it

Why didn’t you see me through it

Wanna join the others

I can’t go

I don’t belong

Lover why?

So sad

So sad am I

 

Crying dying

Lover left me

I left him

HE REALLY REALLY LEFT ME

Can’t believe my very eyes

Makes me wanna…

Hop on the train to never never land

Travel forever

Until I lose you forever

Can’t get you out of my mind

Why is there?

Why is it all there?

What am I doing?

Spinning and spinning

Don’t have time to think

Psychological shit

Logical shit

Everything shit

Cut it off

Cut it all off

So sad lover so sad

 

Take me out of this word

Where to go now

Don’t wanna roam to far

Catch me as I fall

Far away

Let me go

Take me away

Why didn’t you catch me?

I’m  not safe

 

He hold me too tight

Wann make him stop

Don’t know how

He doesn’t stop

Gotta run away

Don’t know how

How to escape

Turn to strangers

I’m still your lover

Lover senses

Lover sees

Lover fears

Lover knows

Lover cries

Lover is angry

 

Why angry lover?

Why be a fool?

 

It wasn’t me I swear

It wasn’t me who did it

 

Interrogate me lover

Lose my soul

Wanna search with you

We don’t search together

What you want

I can’t offer you

No matter how hard you try

It just won’t work

It’s too damn dark lover

I need color

Nice try, nice try

Wanna make you love me again

Can’t you see it?

Why can’t he see it?

So saddened in it

Wanna come out of my shell

Don’t force me

Hell whenever you do

How you poked

I should have known

 

Crush the shell

Bare feet

Jumping in cold waters

How you love the pleasure

Mock my taste

Your right

It’s bad

Gonna make me cry

JL

Break It Down Again ->

 

Pay attention

Listen to me

Listen to the words

Listen

Listen

Listen

Sight

See

Smell

Hear

Tell

Know

God aweful truth

Why is it all so aweful?

Time to come out and play

All work no play

Time to get out

Fresh air

Find me fresh air

God damn you

Foolish lover

JL

Living In A Fish Tank ->

 

Swimming all alone

Can’t find anyone to play with

Lover come play

Why won’t you play?

Stop that reading nonsense

Come play

Come be with me

All day

Come swim

Join me here

Put that paper down

Hate that tv noise crap so loud

Everyday that shit

Turn it down

Turn the noise down

Want you to feel me

Jump in

Waters nice

You will like

Swim with my lover

Come play, come play

JL